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Take a Different Road

Take a Different Road

How to tame our Strategist Archetype with an Essential Oil Blend

We are not alone. There is a dignity and growth in moving though a painful event.

Everyone deserves the chance to experience their agony, and we should let them. That may sound strange, but how often do we try to control other people or alleviate their pain? As caring people, that’s a normal response, but we have to let go of our desire to control and let people experience their own lives, as hard as that may be for us. You don’t control others? Good for you. I do, perhaps not in an external or overt way, but my pattern of mentally checking off boxes to stop other people’s pain doesn’t do me any good. All it does is instill frustration and hopelessness in me, and it detracts from my own self-care. There is dignity and growth in moving through crisis or pain, but when we try to control others, we deny them that very dignity and growth, so let’s stop it… right now.

According to the mystics, one of the most universal laws is that we are all interdependent and connected. No wonder why we feel discomfort when our friends experience a death in their lives, or why we jump for joy when a family member gives birth to a long-awaited child. At these crossroads, our strategist archetype rides in on a white horse to save the day, but if we’re not careful it can lead to a destructive pattern of manipulating others with our words and actions. Our internal strategist knows what is right for our children, our boss, and yes, even the driver in front of us who doesn’t do what we want, right? But here’s the rub – this is precisely when we need to step away and focus on ourselves rather than others.

Choose to care for ourselves as we help others.

It seems impossible, doesn’t it? But all is not lost. There is a paradox of freedom when we let others go. For those of us who have been caretakers most of our lives, our personal needs are often hard to identify, simply because we’ve always put them last. This often leads to needless worry, fear, anxiety, guilt, illness, and more. But we can use the strategist archetype to move us toward positive forms of control, control over our own lives. The first positive action we can take is to pray – to ask our higher power to help us identify what our needs are. Then we can strategize how to get that need met. Since we are all connected energetically we can surrender our fear of shame and call a reliable friend or spiritual director or attend a meditation group, professional counselor, yoga or Tai Chi group. Simple, yes, but how many of us are afraid to do even that? How many of us just don’t start?


One of my favorite ways to take control of my life is to anoint myself with a Change of Perspective Essential Oil Blend. I usually blend Cypress (Cupressus sempervirens), Ginger (Zingiberaceae officinalis), and Juniper (Juniperus communis) in a 3% dilution in jojoba and vegetable oil. I first inhale 3 breaths and then rub the tops of my feet with the blend. During the day I pray to focus on a Good Orderly Direction (GOD) just for today. The act of inhaling and anointing my feet seems to help me keep my eyes on my own road and off others’. When my clients notice the strategist in them becoming over-responsible for others, I encourage them to take their Change of Perspective Blend and inhale and anoint themselves during the day as a physical act of self-care. Keeping the focus on ourselves brings hope and relief.


Place a few drops of Essential Oil blend on the hands and heart.


May the crossroads of other peoples’ pain invites us to experience the wisdom to know how and when to help others, but only after we have cared for ourselves. May we come to practice letting go of our pride thinking we have the answers. Our perseverance in prayer and taking a different road to care for ourselves is healthy and humble. By making this choice, we are in fact helping those around us. May this motivate us to continue taking one small positive action on the road to keeping the control and healing on ourselves.

May your moccasins always be dry, and your path free of logs and briars. Paul W. Wallace 1952 Native American Prayer


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Battaglia, Salvatore, (2018). The Complete Guide to Aromatherapy, 3rd edition. Brisbane, Australia: Black Pepper Creative Publishing.

Holmes, Peter, (2016). Aromatic; A Clinical Guide to Essential Oil Therapeutics: Volume 1: Principles and Profiles; Philadelphia & London; Singing Dragon Publishing.

Myss, Caroline, (2003). Sacred Contracts: Awakening Your Divine Potential. New York, NY; Harmony Books Publishing.

Mojay, Gabriel, (1997). Aromatherapy for Healing the Spirit; Restoring Emotional and Mental Balance with Essential Oils. Rochester, Vermont; Healing Arts Press.

Van Der Kolk, Bessel M.D. (2014). The Body Keeps the Score. Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma. New York, New York; Penguin Books.

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Dale, Brian, (2017). Archetypes: Unmasking Your True Self. Bloomington, Indiana: Balboa Press.

Effect of inhaled essential oils on mental exhaustion and moderate burnout: a small pilot study.


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